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J. P. Morgan Chase is quickly becoming the bank of the incompetents.  Not only can they lose 2 billion dollars in investor funds, but they can also turn a $200,000 short sale into a $120,000 REO.  I'm beginning to think the interview process for a Chase job should include an IQ test.

Just when I thought the short sale department of Chase was probably the most ineptbanking sector in the industry, the REO department has jumped ahead.  I've listed and sold a number of Chase short sales and REOs, and one thing has been consistent.  They are all a nightmare.

The most recent, and my last, should have closed today.  As a matter of fact, this particular REO is a cash sale which could have closed more than a month ago, but Chase needed a minimum of 30 days to get it through closing.  After a brief snort and a few minutes of frustration laden blathering I accepted the inevitable. Chase time is not normal time.

Now, this contract was submitted to Chase May 1, 2012.  It took 22 days to get it through ratification.  Why?  A number of unbelievable reasons, but the last one was because the buyers initialed some of the early pages by handwriting, but the later addenda was initialed through electronic signatures.  They have to be the same.  Of course they initialed the last set by electronic signatures because they were traveling on vacation. 

A closing date was finally set by Chase, and we waited.  A little over a week before closing, a barrage of near panicked emails bombarded my email (as well as the attorneys and closing companies) asking for an immediate closing.  Everyone scrambled to get it done and then nothing.  Finally, an email arrives telling it has been moved up 1 day.  Whew!  Glad we could all drop SELLING AND CLOSING HOUSES what we were doing to accommodate the one day change in closing. 

The buyer's agent and I passed a few "We can't believe this thing is really going to close" emails back and forth, and we waited.  Today, I receive an email stating that Chase wouldn't accept the HUD because it was dated June 21.  That's odd, today is June 21, and it's closing day.  Shouldn't the HUD at least have closing day on it?  Call me crazy.

No, it has to have June 22 on it.  Oh, I see.  A dozen people can race around for a day to get the closing moved up one day only to have the MORONS (and I'm being generous) at Chase decide we can't close one day early because the date on the HUD is the day of closing.  I'm sure in Chase Parallel Universe, that makes sense. 

Now, they want a closing extension for another week.  I'm not sure it will really close in another week.  Actually, I think the buyer's agent and I are being punked.  I keep waiting for a camera crew to jump out and say, "Gotcha!"