Sellers realtorwithholding info - variances - HUD and second mortgage

Heres my situation: I'm using wells Fargo FHA loan
I made an offer - owner approved bank countered msl or higher
I counter offered msl minus 3k closing (more then 1%)
Received a message from my realtor that the lender "semi approved" counter offer but we are waiting on a HUD variance for final approval- 1 week wait at most
I ask what the variance was about and no answer  so I research variances online and flake the assumption it has to do with my asking for more then 1% closing costs
A week passes and no word after getting upset with my relalitor for not knowing what the HUD variance was for nor finding out from sellers realtor
My relalitor finally said it would be another few days (10 days total, business?)
And that the variance was for HUD to forgive second mortgage (I was told there wasn't a 2nd mortgage!!!)
Am i wasting my time? What are my chances of HUD forgiving the 2nd mortgage? What is the real turn around time on a variance request?

Thanks for any help 

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A variance can take 7 days or more.  Usually more.

I have never heard of a complete forgiveness of a mortgage.  Are you sure he did not mean forgiveness of the debt?

I am also confused about a 2nd mortgage on an FHA loan.  Is is a line of credit?

I (buyer) will be using FHA ... The sellers 2nd mortgage is through HUD... Atleast that's what I am being told .by my agent (ba) through sellers agent ... 
That's where I am confused it could be a forgiveness of debt request I have no idea and my agent seems clueless about this variances and no interest in getting informed and has to be pushed to ask sellers agent questions... If it weren't improper etiquette I would call the sellers agent myself an try to get some straight answers. 

Thanks for your response

Brian Avery, good advice!!  MANY MANY times since they dont have a monthly payment on a DP assistance program, they forget they have a second mortgage. 

Happy831 it is not that your agent is clueless or that the agents are conspiring against you about variances or anything else, it could simply be that they do not know what they dont know.

Do you know what type of loan the seller has on the first mortgage. If it is an FHA loan, you can only get 1% toward your closing costs UNLESS you get a variance, that could be what they are trying to do.

I am using a FHA loan but not sure about the sellers first mortgage but I'm thinking not cause they refi since they orig purchased the house ... I don't think you can use FHA to refi 
But that was what I initially thought was the reason for the variance however my agent said it was for forgiveness of their second... Who knows but it's been 8 business days since the variance was submitted so I  am hoping to hear by the end of the week.
Thanks for the feedback. It's a long and frustrating process bit I know it could be much worse, so I am trying to be patient with the process, all I want is to be kept informed

Down payment assistance loans still show up as a lien, I'd say if  they can't look that much up before making an offer, the buyer's agent can't be that far from clueless! Doesn't sound like a conspiracy, simply two agents who don't know what they're doing.

We got approval for the variance .. Whatever it was for and  were moving forward and hit a major road block .. Opening a new thread for this one!
We got approval for the variance .. Whatever it was for and  were moving forward and hit a major road block .. Opening a new thread for this one!

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